Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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