You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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