You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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