Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
