He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
