He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
