my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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