Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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