Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
