Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize