Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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