and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
