We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
