another moral hangover. fuck.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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