I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
