Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
