I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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