So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
