Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize