After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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