I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
