You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
