Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
