it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize