i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize