dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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