So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am available for nakedness
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
