Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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