shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
