i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
