final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
