I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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