So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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