i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
