I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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