We won't sleep together?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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