Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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