I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize