That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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