We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
