Will you blow on my dice?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
