thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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