You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
