How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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