So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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