I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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