CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
