I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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