You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
