roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
