this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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