heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's always time for handjobs
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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