i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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