im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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