I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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