try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
