girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
