You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize