He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
