those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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