dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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