found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
