I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
