ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
