I smell stomach acid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
