so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
