I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
vagina is talking i cant
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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